Cast: Played by
(appearing somewhere,
sometime, in one form
or another)
H. Bogart..........................Hassan Dekhissi
Barionic Matter....................Roberto Bellotti, Marcello Castellano
Luncheon Meat......................Giorgio -here he comes,hide- Giacomelli
The Newlywed ......................Fabrizio Cei
Drifters...........................Sergio Petrera & family
Smokestacks........................Stas Mikhiev
Local Toughs.......................Erik Katsavounidis, Alessandra Decredico
Aurellio Grillo, Lori Grey
Gaffers.............................Stefano -he's gone- Stalio,
Paolo -he's gone too- Saggese
Massimo -Little Bear- Orsini
Popular Sex Icons...................Mick Jagger, Daniel Levin (my next job)
Contrary to the implication of the highly populated cast, LNGS was
essentially desolate for the better part of my shift. The confluence
Xmas, Capo d'Anno, La Befana and Ramadan kept people in church, mosque
or front of their TVs. And as is generally the case in the absence of
humans, our dear MACRO deported itself exemplary, almost till the
conclusion of 1997. I report overseeing the very successful
series of runs 15146-15156 in which ~50000 muons and a still unknown
number of monopoles were collected.
Beyond watching the muons roll in, the prospects for a Productive and
Interesting shift appeared bleak. Salvation came from
(of all people) angel o' mercy Giorgio G. who required my services
to aid in drafting a memo to a New and Improved LNGS Scientific Committee.
This committee requires, as GG explained to me, a brief statement of
MACRO's mission and physics goals that would ostensibly mandate keeping
the plug in until the millenium's end. If I understand the situation
correctly (an admittedly rare enough occurrence) after over a decade
of MACRO, the LNGS requires that we justify our existence or face
removal from life support. Following the execution of this task
I returned to scrutinizing the lovely event display and histogram
presenter.
Then happily, late in the afternoon of Dec 31st, excreta finally
impacted upon the propeller.
A dreaded Machine Check Error surfaced on Pisa MVMAC4 on
SM 5&6. Assuming this was caused by a PHRASE specific disease, the
immediate "cure" was to apply leaches and remove the uvax from
acquisition to allow the rest of the detector to collect monopoles.
A few days later when he returned from his seaside villa, Fabrizzio
Cei certified the PHRASE glatt kosher and concluded the MCE's
source resided in a recalcitrant CAMAC crate. The usual method was
applied to trace these problems: remove all the crates from the branch
highway, then fold them back in, incrementally until the
Deviate Psycho Crate could be identified.
This program was diligently carried out until it became evident
that We Were Getting Nowhere. After several hours of this idiocy
it was observed that when a fourth known-to-be-good crate
was appended to a functioning chain of three, the system broke down.
Evidently a crate controller was being overloaded- but this fact
had been masked by the Careful and Methodical Problem Finding Procedure.
Presently the naughty controller was quickly isolated, replaced and
publicly humiliated. Peace and tranquility reigned once again on
the third Pisa microVax.
During this period another CAMAC related malady removed the ERP from
commission on SM 5 & 6. Here the problem manifested initially in a
sporadic tank hit rate distribution. This appeared to be caused
Lecroy 1440 system faults (which were identified by Erik's Spectacular
Online Monitor and Horse Betting WWW Page) in turn traced to an apoplectic
Lecroy 1232 HV interface. Further probing using the Borer diagnostic module
exonerated the 2132 and laid blame at the foot of the CAMAC crate in
which it lived. As I prepared to bludgeon the offending crate and
jettison it into the Aterno, Stefano threw his body across it and
cried, "Wait! Maybe its a downstream crate!" So we reluctantly
beat our swords into DVMs and continued our hunt for the dysfunctional
CAMAC organ. Unlike the happy ending to the Pisa saga above, here
we ultimately failed to identify any debauched modules or crates.
Indeed, the symptoms evaporated-- certainly to return at a later time.
Laser Calibrations (performed on Wednesday). The PMT ADC vs
reference ADC data (as recorded by the ERP) indicate systematically
pathological behavior. Most of the ADC plots appear to have a bend
in the spectrum - as if the gain increased abruptly more or less midway
on each channel. Not known (by me at any rate) if this is an artifact
of the ADC or reference PMT ADC or other source.
Miscella and Detritus from the Weekly Revival Meeting
(information relayed by born again Ann Arborite, F. Cei)
----------------------------------------------------------
1) Lori is working on the LAMOSSKA calibrations, comparing the past and
present h-grams. Emphasis is on the behaviour of the integrated charge
in the threshold region (for all channels) as a function of the
integration time (1, 5 and 10 usecs). Some thresholds must be adjusted
on SM 1 &2 while 3-6 look good. The anomalous channels will be
identified by the technician.
2) A message file indicating problems observed in the calibration
data is being prepared.
3) Lori will post the identities of Bad PMT Channels on the MACRO WEB page.
4) Erik's plan to move calibration hardware to a
dedicated mVax has been shelved for now; some hard/soft-ware
alterations are needed to make this system work. Lori believes
that the software changes are not difficult; however, our present
consensus is that the benefit of a dedicated uVax is an about 2 %
increase in the efficiency for collecting LAMOSSKA events
(but with a 15 % increase in the execution time). So, the
original calibration configuration is restored pending
significant hints in favour of the new one.
Invasive surgery and other outpatient procedures:
1) A failed PHRASE power supply was replaced.
2) PMT transplants: 6T02-0 (0), 1W05-1, 2E05-0, 4T16-0 (0)
3) Tube 4T08-0 was switched off this evening since it caused the
saturation of the corresponding WFD channel and a high rate and
dead time on mVax #2.
4) Scintillating Lipid Leaks: Very small quantities were collected by the
( don't miss the very clever acronym) Outboard Installed Liquid
Scintillator Leak Intake Cup Kludges.
For What Concerns The Next Future:
----------------------------------
The gain setting is scheduled; expected to be completed ~ Jan 17.
As hinted above, two of our technicians-
Stefano Stallio and Paolo Saggese- are taking permanent positions
elsewhere. Only Massimo Orsini remains on. Erik has plastered
the LNGS, the Termini in Rome and L'Aquila disco "Dancing Tahiti"
with position announcements.