HOW TO TALK LIKE DOUG, PART II
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Following Bob's original classic HTTLD:
"So you want to talk more like Doug. Of course we all do. But it
isn't just a matter of exaggeration and superlatives. No, Doug is a
five-sigma performer when it comes to enhancing his exaggeration and
superlatives with style, pizzazz and punch. To stimulate your
thinking, I have assembled the following case studies.
A situation is
presented, followed by three possible responses:
A) what you or I might say
B) what you or I might say if we were trying to talk like Doug
C) what Doug actually said
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1. You have had a bad experience with British Airways.
A) "British Airways is a bad airline."
B) "British Airways is an absolutely incredibly awful airline."
C) "British Airways is the worst airline in the entire universe."
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2. You hate coffee in general but have found some that you don't dislike.
A) "This coffee is acceptable."
B) "This coffee is actually better than the usual disgusting variety."
C) "This coffee is not indescribably bad."
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3. You are discussing the upcoming John Glenn mission.
A) "I think that is an unimpressive mission."
B) "That is the most enormously useless mission that I've ever heard of."
C) "I'm sorry, that just takes zero guts."
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4. You are discussing places to live near LNGS.
A) "I prefer living in l'Aquila to living in Paganica."
B) "L'Aquila is infinitely preferable to a small cheesy town like Paganica."
C) "Paganica is a sweltering stinkhole."